CHRISTIAN JOKES - PART 2

ATHEIST HOLIDAY

An atheist complained to a friend, "Christians have their special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter.  Jews celebrate their national holidays like Passover and Yom Kippur.  Why is it that we atheists have no recognized national holiday.  It's unfair discrimination."

His friend replied, "Why don't you celebrate April first?"

DIED IN THE SERVICE

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed a little boy was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.  The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside the boy.

"Good morning, son," the pastor said.

"Good morning, pastor" replied the young man, focused on the plaque.  After a moment he looked up at the pastor and asked, "Pastor, what's this?"

"Well son, these are all the members of our congregation who have died in the service," replied the pastor.

Soberly, they stood together and stared at the large plaque.

The little boy's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, "Did they die at the 8:30 service or the 11:00 service?"

THE BISHOP AND THE STUDENT

A bishop was speaking at a college.  During the question and answer period, he was continually harassed by a particular student in the back.  The bishop answered each of the student’s questions, but found it harder and harder to keep from losing his patience.

Finally, the student asked, "Can you tell me for a fact that Jonah lived for three days in a belly of whale."

"Tell you what," the bishop said, "when I get to heaven, I'll ask him."

"What if he's not there?" retorted the student.

"Then you ask him," replied the bishop.

BILLS

A $1 bill and a $50 bill were about to be shredded for old age.  Reflecting on its life, the $50 bill said, "You know, I've had a great time of it.  I've been to Paris, Disney World, Las Vegas -- you name it."

"You were lucky," said the $1 bill.  "The only places I ever got to see were the Methodist Church, the Lutheran Church, and the Catholic Church."

"A church?" the $50 bill asked.  "What's that?"