CHURCH
BULLETIN BLOOPERS - PART 1
Bloopers
as seen in actual church bulletins

- For
those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
- Due
to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued
until further notice.
- Evening
massage - 6 PM.
- The
eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church
basement on Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
- Potluck
supper: prayer and medication to follow.
- Don't
let worry kill you - let the church help.
- The
concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success.
Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the
whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
- Scouts
are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
- The
outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are
not afflicted with any church.
- Low
Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 PM. Please use the
back door.
- Ushers
will eat latecomers.
- The
Rev. Merriwhether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
- During
the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good
sermon when J. F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
- Stewardship
Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All."
- Remember
in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
- Pastor
is on vacation.
Massages can be given to church secretary.
- 22
members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha
Crutchfield last evening.
Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
- The
choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the
choir.
- The
rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan
Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
- This
afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church.
Children will be baptized at both ends.
- Tuesday
at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social.
All ladies giving milk will please come early.
- Wednesday,
the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet.
Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied
by the pastor.
- Thursday
at 5 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.
All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his
private study.
- This
being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mr. Vassilas to come forward and lay an egg
on the altar.
- Next
Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new
carpet. All
those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a
piece of paper.
- The
ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be
seen in the church basement Friday.
- A
bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.