CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS - PART 1
Bloopers as seen in actual church bulletins

• For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
• Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
• Evening massage - 6 PM.
• The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 PM.  The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
• Potluck supper:  prayer and medication to follow.
• Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
• The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success.  Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
• Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
• The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
• Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 PM.  Please use the back door.
• Ushers will eat latecomers.
• The Rev. Merriwhether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
• During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J. F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
• Stewardship Offertory:  "Jesus Paid It All."
• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
• Pastor is on vacation.  Massages can be given to church secretary.
• 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening.  Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
• The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
• The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
• This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church.  Children will be baptized at both ends.
• Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social.  All ladies giving milk will please come early.
• Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet.  Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.
• Thursday at 5 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.  All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
• This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mr. Vassilas to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
• Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet.  All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
• The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
• A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.  Music will follow.